In a relationship, I have a different attitude. Not that I'm a hypocrite but in a sense that I'm different.

I love to wheedle and cuddle with my girlfriend.
I love to hold her hands and have as much skin contact as possible whenever possible because this keeps me safe. And as silly as it sounds, I feel serene to know that she's beside me, close to me.
I love it when she's pressed against my chest, just lying there, sleeping or napping. It keeps the butterflies calm and my heart beat worth the beats.
I love to whisper in her ears and run my fingers through her hair because it's endearment to me and it's very comforting.
 I love to listen to her voice because her voice is love.
 I love to hear her complain about the very little things in life and can't help but to mesmerize when she speaks of all her plans in the future because her eyes sparkles. I love to dive deep into her chocolaty eyes of hers and be the only one in her eyes.


 I know I've been hurting her a lot because of my ignorance in certain things in life, how selfish and how naive I get some times. I'm really sorry. Though it hurts to cry but it hurts me a million times more to see her eyes, swollen and so mysteriously dark, not the light brown I adore, after a cry.

To know that it was caused by me, is like having a knife stabbed right through my heart.

I hate how I always cry and worry her. How I keep quiet and not answer her questions to my tears. Because they were never caused by her, only because of my delirious thoughts of the nightmare I had, the fear I have, that caused it. Not her. It's unfair how she thinks it's because of her. She's so understanding and thoughtful.

No one is perfect, not me, not her. But it's how we choose to see beyond the imperfections that makes life beautiful and love such a miracle. 

 I appreciate her, I love her, I need her, I want to protect her, I want her forever and I will never ever leave. I love you, my love. I love you, my baby boo. I love you, my bii. I love you, my superman. I love you, my ever gracious love. I love you, my lover. I love you, my girlfriend. I love you, my Lim Wei En. I love you, my Lim Sze Ling. I love you, my G-Nil. I love you, my life.

You can't expect too much from a person can you?

We are all human beings, we all have feelings and we all have our personal times.

You can't expect a friend to always find time for you to hang out with you. A real friend would understand that it's time to really find time for each other. A real friend would understand you need your time and there's seriously no need for each other to meet that often, as long as they know you're doing well. A real friend would never force or say that you've changed because "You never hang out with us anymore."
A real friend would find ways to know who you've been doing without taking too much of your time. A little effort is needed to know, too much would mean that you're too obsessed. A real friend don't mind being distant but still close at heart, knowing that one day you'll find time to update each other.

Have you tried, not speaking for a long time, then telling each other stories of your life back again to your friend makes you remember how special the bond you have for each other and it's really comforting.

It's comforting to know how your real friend would stay, after that long time of silence, then appear to hear you out when it's time. Find a friend like that because a friend's not a diary/blog, you don't need it every second. Find some time for yourself, be independent. They don't owe you anything and you don't too except for the bond you share, where you have things to share.

I rather have that short longing feeling than to have to find topics to talk about every SECOND you meet your friend.

Absence makes the heart fonder.
This applies to friendship too.

I have a friend, who doesn't really matter how many times we've meet each other in four years time and yet we still know we can find each other to talk about things that really matter because sometimes it takes an old friend to remind you that you're you and no matter what happens, they'll be your back up.

A real friend will never mind if you find new friends as long as you let them know they are not forgotten. People change, they have lives too and they need changes. Be supportive and understand them.

Most of the times, those who find you where millions of people can see them (Facebook comments, Twitter,  or any other social medias where privacy isn't really private at all unless in inbox, private messages or text messages, or phone calls) need gossips to feed their craves, not because they want to really know what's been going on in life.

So, be wise. (:

& oh, unless you are their parents or they owe their life to you, you don't necessarily need to do anything for them out of guilt. If they are your real friends, they'd know that you have your reasons to not meet them because the timing's just not right. A real friend would never mind.