And the pictures of Gurney are because I joined the gym (refer to first Gurney picture up there) and that's the view I get every morning while running on the treadmill. So healthy of me but it was mainly because my retail job was just in the mall and it was convenient and I might as well be able to strike of something from my resolution since so many years back. Haha. I'd gladly go to gym here once I've settled everything in terms of my financial management and all because the gym here is more pricey and to need to drive there is quite a hassle. Hmmmm. I'll need to reconsider. Hmmmm.

It's been a while since I've been back, I think I owe it to myself to have this little balance in my life to express what have been lingering in my mind but I've found no time or person to tell to or just, not yet.

However, I've relocated to Kuala Lumpur, from one city to another, 3 states now hold a place I call home. But it is still too soon for me to call KL my home, I still consider it a hostel because it has only been, approaching 4 months since I moved here.

Relocating sucks, big time, but it also means exposure. Being exposed to new things, new environment and all that new drill thing. Learning to appreciate everything, I'd say, this is a big step forward in my career and also big step towards a better future.

Being far from home, 2 hours to one, an additional of another 2 more hours to another, makes me realize and yearn for one thing; holidays. I didn't get the privilege of getting weekends and public holidays off during my retail work days but now I do. So I look forward to long weekends, cheap flights or any sort of opportunity to escape the big city and to the vicinity of my loved ones; in 2 different states. Of course, I never forget to enjoy the moment I'm here in KL. ;)

G told me I should consider blogging about fashion, lifestyles and all that. I'm considering..because being able to write, snap and design does not mean I have to blog about fashion, right? And I don't have my personal photographer here for my OOTD shots. Heh.

However, I'll just let the pictures talk, a few of my favorite shots from the time I went on hiatus, to this date.

Pictures from 2nd June 2015 until 24th July 2016.

Hmm, I think I should work on the tabs on my blog with the links to the social medias I'm on. 

if I was to leave this world and never come back..

That was the darkest part of me.I never wanted to let out.But the darkness is overwhelming me.Taking over me.Taking a toll on me.Killing me softly.

It's already the 13th day of twenty-thirteen yet I haven't produce a good post. But to make up to my procrastination I shall give you my resolution which is also a way to conjure what my feelings were as of the twelve of this month of this year.

I'll make this look like a 2013 Resolution where basically, a resolution is a public confession of your weaknesses and how you wish that in the new year, you can improve them!

RESOLUTION 2013:
1) Be a less worrywart.
2) Practice more moderation.
3) Have more patience.
4) Never ignore an advice.
5) Analyze things before pinning a conclusion to it.
6) Respect people's personal space.
7) Cry less.
8) Blog more.
9) Procrastinate less.
10) Never complain.
11) Remember remember remember.
12) Keep the love strong.
13) Be more creative.
14) Research more.
15) Try the best in every thing.
16) Keep fit & lose more weight.
17) Appreciate my beautiful people.

Sometimes, problems come up and just so coincidentally, they happen to happen when you're in your moody days.
You feel like the world just collapsed on you, the whole world's burden on your shoulders.
It feels hard to breathe, it's hard to even look through the tear blinded eyes.
Do what you want, eat what you want or simply do nothing. Just give yourself a moment.
Free your mind, blast some music or just let the tears run.
Remember, life is too short to hold grudges for too long or to put a pause to.

SNEAK PEEK :)

Sometimes, there are words that can't be said.
& sometimes, because they care, they can't be said.

I don't want to be the weak one anymore, neither do I want you to be.
I don't want tears to fall anymore, and you can't too.

I didn't know, honestly, how hard it is for you. Maybe every time you step on the peddle, every time you're behind the wheels. There's this trauma replaying in your head that something like your friend would repeat itself.

I overlooked how it can be that important to you just because I wasn't myself and I was being childish. I couldn't think for you, or well, our safety. I know I'm reckless... I'm deeply sorry. From the deepest and most sincere heart, I'm sorry. Doesn't matter what it is, I naively thought that it would be okay to be reckless because you're okay with me getting my way out of things.

It matters to me, it matters to you too.

You know it.

I do too.

Don't deny it and let me know. I don't want to hurt you emotionally ever again, because believe me, believe us, we both know better than anyone else that, things that matter the most can never be taken lightly, it should always be something to be alert of. And the trust we have, it should be cherished, not played about.

Sorry...

I really am. Regretful and remorseful enough, I apologize.

I'm really sorry.

I will try my best. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I will change for the better.



There's this knot inside that'll never be untied because I understand and I've tried so many times. Yes, I shouldn't give up on things that easily but I'm really tired and I know that loosing this doesn't really mean I'll loose that much. All I need is to let loose of myself, set myself free from at least this one little knot. It's suffocating and it's eating me up slowly.

Yes, we maybe close, because you like being with me (as others would describe) but I'd love you to understand that if it means knowing ones dislikes but still very purposely/accidentally stepping on their tail; where's that so-called close friends. Preposterous. Ridiculous statement. For instance, I hate the feeling of being touch; human contact. It's not a phobia, but I have a feeling of discomfort inside me, telling me that I loathe touch. You know that fact, but still, you'll get itchy and do exactly it.

And no, there's nothing worth showing off if you know MORE about another, yes, it might get you a little shimmer of the spotlight but that shimmer is like a candle, once a little small wind movement would kill off the shine. What's that 'knowledge' for? To create more gossips and aim the spotlight at yourself? I don't understand, really.

I don't know, I don't want to leash out my anger that's why I'm holding it in. I don't want to regret after letting out on you because I snapped. I want to clear my mind, then talk to you about it. But sometimes, I wonder, I've told you more than once, constantly, repeatedly, but yet, you're the same, I don't see an ounce of change at all. Maybe you need something more serious than a few days of ignorance from me. Maybe, to you, I'm not serious at all. Most of the time I'm mad at you, you won't notice, because you think you're so good to be true? And yet, you can ask; "Who've pissed Penny off?"

We, humans, people.

"When you love someone, yes, it'll hurt but if you love someone deep enough, it'll be worth it."
Song of the Day. ;)