I'm turning twenty one this year and even being invited to a birthday dinner to celebrate a friend's twenty first birthday made me a nervous wreck. Honestly speaking, unless you have a figure of a model or a perfect M sized fixed, the whole jiggly 'fashion-designers-have-no-worries-dressing-themselves', you'd have a problem.

But why not make my own?

I had that thought but then, I had only three days and already one of the three is planned to be spent to look for a gift for the birthday boy. Plus, I guess I'm not the typical shopping kind of girl, I'm the type to curl in bed, grab a book and  hot cocoa and indulge myself away in a dreamy weekend or any given spare time from studies or assignments. When my flatmate decided to go splurge at H&M, I tagged along to hunt for a dress.


  (Pictures here are taken during my slimmest month of my entire life, no, no camera tricks or editing.)

Hey guys, I guess I've been gone for quite some time, I left off at Sya's wedding reception didn't I? I guess I'll just give you guys a quick update on my year so far. (:

It's already almost the end of August, which would've been my graduation showcase but due to some reasons, I wasn't able to graduate. Postponing my invitations to next year okay. Keep the anticipation going.

Pictures are not in order, I'll elaborate more in each post soon

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I realized in these few days there are things in my mind that I have changed & by change, I mean it in a good way because I'm more temperament ( I know I may not be the best in controlling my anger and I always make rash decisions such as blabber my anger or my frustration all online or doing things I knew I would regret before doing it and yet doing it) I am doing things I do not normally do; e.g. keep a reflection journal (not a diary but a reflection journal) where I reflect on what I have done and what better could I have done and how I appreciate a days of hard work and how to think in people's shoes.

I was a bad person == I mean, I was so harsh and mean sometimes, not mean girls mean but I could be worse. I was ugly, personality was ugly but I changed that, I could see that. I mean, if I accept people for who they are, they will do the same to me right? Gives and takes, that's what life is all about.

I hope, what we've been through will only be a phase..to make us stronger and more solid in our relationship, because I have learned so much, I grew up so much and believe in the strong will of the both of us.

Even though life may seem hard with all the piling assignments and errands and life itself going on; never give up.

We only live once.

I shed so many tears listening to my 'self-proclaimed' godmothers' life stories.

You know, sometimes, you learn that there's always a silver lining around every cloud, even in the darkest nights and dimmest moments. You just need to live through it.

Make things work if you want it. You don't hope, you don't wish; wishes only come during birthdays and celebrations, you MAKE things work.

And arguments are better than nothing at all because not saying what needs to be said that's been in your heart will only torment yourself.

Love has so many twist and turns but takes the right one to find its way back home.

I realized every time I blog, it's a post on my artworks of the semester. I have so much more to blog about but there isn't enough time. And another reason is that I can't organize all the pictures straight so I lack the motivation. There goes.

Hopefully I will get more motivated and post about My Boo's Trip to Ipoh, The Story Behind the Dragon Phoenix Dress, My Second Home and Throughout the Entire Certificate.

You can't expect too much from a person can you?

We are all human beings, we all have feelings and we all have our personal times.

You can't expect a friend to always find time for you to hang out with you. A real friend would understand that it's time to really find time for each other. A real friend would understand you need your time and there's seriously no need for each other to meet that often, as long as they know you're doing well. A real friend would never force or say that you've changed because "You never hang out with us anymore."
A real friend would find ways to know who you've been doing without taking too much of your time. A little effort is needed to know, too much would mean that you're too obsessed. A real friend don't mind being distant but still close at heart, knowing that one day you'll find time to update each other.

Have you tried, not speaking for a long time, then telling each other stories of your life back again to your friend makes you remember how special the bond you have for each other and it's really comforting.

It's comforting to know how your real friend would stay, after that long time of silence, then appear to hear you out when it's time. Find a friend like that because a friend's not a diary/blog, you don't need it every second. Find some time for yourself, be independent. They don't owe you anything and you don't too except for the bond you share, where you have things to share.

I rather have that short longing feeling than to have to find topics to talk about every SECOND you meet your friend.

Absence makes the heart fonder.
This applies to friendship too.

I have a friend, who doesn't really matter how many times we've meet each other in four years time and yet we still know we can find each other to talk about things that really matter because sometimes it takes an old friend to remind you that you're you and no matter what happens, they'll be your back up.

A real friend will never mind if you find new friends as long as you let them know they are not forgotten. People change, they have lives too and they need changes. Be supportive and understand them.

Most of the times, those who find you where millions of people can see them (Facebook comments, Twitter,  or any other social medias where privacy isn't really private at all unless in inbox, private messages or text messages, or phone calls) need gossips to feed their craves, not because they want to really know what's been going on in life.

So, be wise. (:

& oh, unless you are their parents or they owe their life to you, you don't necessarily need to do anything for them out of guilt. If they are your real friends, they'd know that you have your reasons to not meet them because the timing's just not right. A real friend would never mind.